Early Questions

Are children’s cancers the same as adults’?

No. The most common cancers in adults, such as lung, breast and bowel cancers, are part of a group of cancers called carcinomas. These are all cancers of the lining of parts of the body and are caused, in part, by environmental/lifestyle factors. These cancers are almost never seen in children.

Many children’s cancers come from cells left over from when the baby was still developing in the very earliest stages of pregnancy. These cancers are not seen
in adults.

Some cancers found in children, such as leukaemias and brain tumours, are also seen in adults. However, even when the diagnosis is the same, the diseases often behave differently in people of different ages, and children often respond better
to treatment.

Is it something we’ve done?

No. As grandparents, you will of course have seen many changes over the years in the way children are brought up, their activities and diet, and may wonder if these changes have caused the cancer. There is absolutely no scientific evidence to support this.

Someone else in the family has had Cancer. Is it in our genes?

Cancer is sadly a very common disease, particularly in older people. In most families where a child has been diagnosed with cancer there will be at least one other family member who has had cancer. Nearly all of these cancers will have occurred by chance. Cancer does originate in the genes, in that cancer is caused by changes in the genes that cause cells to divide abnormally. However these gene changes will probably have only occurred in that individual.

Very occasionally childhood cancers do run in families. For example, when a child is diagnosed with a rare eye tumour, called retinoblastoma, the family will be advised about whether there is a need to monitor other family members for the condition.

Can cancer ever really be cured?

Yes. Nowadays three quarters of childhood cancers are cured. Most grandparents find this hard to believe. And, while accepting that cure is a reasonable goal, it is still a very worrying time. For the older generation there are very good reasons for this. Even as recently as the 1960s it was very unusual for cancer to be treated successfully unless it could be fully removed by a surgeon. Today, with better treatment, most children are not only cured of the disease, but go on to live full and active lives.

Sadly, though, there are still some children whose cancer cannot be cured. For these children treatment can often keep the cancer under control for some time. For others it may only be possible to control symptoms. Every effort is made to keep the child well and active for as long as possible. The child can be cared for at home, if that is what the family wants, with support being given by the hospital team and others.

Why don’t we hear of the successes?

In the past people felt there was a stigma attached to having cancer. This meant that it was often only after a death, that the name of the illness would be known, so when a cancer was treated successfully, no-one knew about it.

Now that your grandchild has been diagnosed with a cancer it may be that friends will tell you of people they have known who have been cured of the disease. Similarly some may have less encouraging stories. Whatever you hear it is important to remember that every cancer patient and every diagnosis is different and that progress is continually being made in developing effective treatments.

Why do I feel so helpless?

Most grandparents accept that they could not have prevented the cancer but many still feel helpless, or even guilty, when it is diagnosed. Why is that? As a parent, and later as a grandparent, most see protecting their offspring as their most important role. It is possible to protect against most threats to a child. However when a serious illness like cancer occurs, which families can do nothing to prevent, the same feelings of guilt or helplessness occur. As no-one can say why this has happened to your grandchild, many people find that their minds turn to all sorts of possible causes. For some grandparents their faith can be a great comfort, while for others it may be seriously challenged.

Some grandparents feel that if anyone in the family had to have a cancer, it should have been them.

Cancer seems a particularly cruel disease when it threatens a young innocent life.

Some grandparents wish they could swap places with the sick child rather than allow them to go through long treatments. It is worth remembering though that cancers in the young are much more curable than those which occur in older people and that children are physically better able to cope with treatment than adults. Children often cope well with the disease. Older children will sometimes say that having had the illness, they learn to appreciate their health and live life to the full more. For young children very little may be remembered about the treatment.