www.childcancer.org.uk - Information for patients & families affected by childhood cancer
 
Reflections on childhood cancer
A book of poems
Child and Parent1 tonMonsterGingerbread manMoonDevilCakeBoy and girl
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Monster
Alison Aisthorpe

Alison’s son Joshua was diagnosed with a brain tumour at one year old. Alison began writing poems about her feelings while Joshua was being treated. The book ‘My Little Man’ was published in 2000 with proceeds going to Sargent Cancer Care and the Children’s Brain Tumour Research Centre in Nottingham.

JUST LIKE YOU

Please don’t frown or stare at me
When I come into town
I have a tube inside my nose
My medicine goes down.

I’m not a monster or a freak,
It’s not that I’ve been bad,
And every time you stare at me,
It makes my mummy sad.

I’ve been quite poorly for a year,
But now I’m on the mend.
I’m just like any toddler,
Driving mummy round the bend.

I like to play with all my toys,
And love my books to read,
Then I throw good temper tantrums,
When I can’t have what I need.

So even though I may look odd,
I’m just the same as you,
An active, loving little boy,
With thoughts and feelings too.


Joshua had been having chemotherapy for 6 months when I wrote this poem, although it may as well have been 6 years. The time seemed to pass so slowly. I found myself wishing that every single minute of every day would pass quickly. It was a feeling I was to experience on more than one occasion, prompted by our uncertain future and prolonged spells in hospital.
WHY ME?

“It is better to have loved and lost,
Than to have never loved at all.”
The power, the depth behind those words,
Can make me feel so small.

I have loved and lost in times gone by,
And yet again I find,
The threat of losing someone dear,
Plays torment with my mind.

Tears sting my eyes, blinding me,
The pain rips at my heart.
There seems to be no end to this,
We’re only at the start.

Dear God I know that I have sinned,
In the game of life I’ve played,
But please don’t take my child away,
For mistakes that I have made.

Why me? I cry to take this pain,
Whatever have I done?
The one I’m close to losing
Is my 18 month old son.

But whether young or whether old,
The truth is hard to bear,
When someone very dear to you
Is suddenly not there.


This poem was written for my sister Helen who has been a tower of strength. Endless hours have been spent on the telephone as she tried to cheer me up when I’ve hit my lowest, or has just been there to listen when I’ve needed so desperately to talk. Despite having a life of her own she has been there for me day and night.
MY INSPIRATION

I want to thank you from my heart,
For everything you do,
I’ve sunk so low in desperate times,
And yet you’ve pulled me through.

You’ve made me laugh,
You’ve picked me up,
You’ve shown me how to cope.
You’ve listened when I’ve needed you,
And given me fresh hope.

This friendship’s gone from strength to strength,
With every year that’s passed.
A bond that’s growing stronger still,
A bond that’s meant to last.

At every hurdle in my life,
You’re always there for me,
My sister, yet a constant friend,
Who’ll never cease to be.